Sacrifices Divine

I now have a deep love and appreciation for every woman who has had a c-section! After years of suffering with crazy life altering cycles I made the decision to have surgery to end my misery. I have been blessed with four wonderful boys who I adore. With the help of my wonderful husband and direction from the Holy Ghost I have come to peace with the reality that I will not bare any more children. I suffered for amlost a year with a deep depression about the thought of not having another baby and sliently but fiercely held on to a hope we would get one more. Then after a particularly painful, exhausting and emotional cycle I went to my doctor and dear friend for help. We decided on a much less invasive solution to my problems and after two months of really strange happenings things seem to be working. I was hopeful life would be good again and I would not have to have surgery. Unfortunately within six months things went funky again. Worse than before...if that is even imaginable! I returned to my doctor who made a referral and in what seemed like a flash I was in the pre-op room of the hospital.
Those 10 days between meeting my surgeon and going to the hospital I expected to feel all of the emotions I had been feeling before. Sadness, regret, anger, helplessness, hoplessness. While I did break down in tears a few times I realized that the tears were releasing the pain and worry. I was no longer feeling anything but a bit of nerves. Can't even call it real fear. It was miraculous to me. It was the long awaited answer to my years of pleading. I kept recalling the verse, "For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of love and of a sound mind..." (it came as a paraphrase to my mind). While I still dreaded the IV I was totally calm regarding everything else.
The surgery went well. I woke up incredibly itchy and just about scratched my own face off but was pain free. I heard the doctor dictate his surgical report and was at peace knowing things had gone exactly as hoped and nothing alarming was found. My nurses took great care of me and after 24 hours and multiple medications I was no longer itching and had enough feeling back in my lower legs to at least stand. The Spinal Block was a little too good but not a word of complaint from me. I was pain free for all of day one and most of day two.
Here enters my experience that gave me my new love and appreciation for my sisters everywhere who have had a c-section. At dinner on day two I took a drink of juice from a straw and it went down funny. I coughed! Oh I coughed and coughed! Pain like I have never known arched across my incision. I cried out in prayer for the coughing to stop. I rang for my nurse who brought me a "cough pillow" for next time. Tears ran down my face, "What do you mean next time?!?! I am NEVER coughing again!" After my reaction to the medications on day one I was scared to try something strong for pain. I waited an hour hoping things would get better but they didn't. I took the medication the doctor had prescribed and gratefully sleep came and the pain dissipated. It was during that hour I reflected on the women I know who have had their beautiful babies via c-section. I remember that their recoveries were longer and some said they slept in recliners to ease the pain of standing and laying but I had NO appreciation for their pain or exhaustion! Caring for a newborn is exhausting and physically demanding. All night you are up and down and twisting and turning to feed and clothe your little one. How do you wonderful women do it? Then add a second, third, even fourth child to the picture at home. Mind blown.
You are super heroes! You do the impossible with love and tendness. God bless you and every soul who reached out to help and support you!
All women no matter how or when you have babies make sacrifices divine. Every baby is a miracle but so is every mother! I count myself blessed to have so many wonderful mothers in my life. To each of you I say thank you for being miracles everyday to so many. Truly the power of a righteous mother is unmatched. A force to be reckoned with indeed! The countless hours of self sacrifice come in too many forms to deliniate. The physical, emotional and spiritual pain felt too incredible to comprehend. Much like the Atonement, it don't know how you all do it but I am forever grateful that you do! While caring your own heavy burdens you reach out to your husbands, children, siblings, friends, total strangers too. You act as heaven's ministering angels. May you feel heaven's blessings and acceptance of your offerings so holy.